Boyfriend lies to girlfriend who is constantly late about 1:30 start time of friend's event, she chews him out: 'She insists on breakfast and spends time cooking and eating (she never rushes for this)'

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JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Aug 13, 2025 10:00 AM EDT

Everyone has that friend who is often late. If you made it this far into adulthood, you know who I'm talking about. Maybe they've even made it to the outskirts of your life by this point because of the way that they disregard start times. You've had awkward situations at restaurants, waiting for them for hours. You've missed the start of movies waiting for them. You've not invited them to certain time-sensitive events. You complain about them to your friends, and you try to get them to change. 

Some people can change; you just have to teach them that there are consequences for their lateness. You have to make them realize that they will miss out on certain things if they don't shape up. Maybe you could even help them come up with strategies to figure out what is the thing that's taking them so long. There are ways to get around it, but only if the other person is willing to change. If they're not willing to change, then they might remain in the periphery of your life forever. It's especially hard when you're dating this kind of person. You can't control who you love, and sometimes you get somebody with a tardiness issue. This is when it's especially prudent to have open and communicative conversations. You don't wanna give up on them, but if they're really that unwilling to work on their behavior, then you might have to.

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  • A woman applies makeup in the mirror.
    via Annie Spratt

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • That's the situation that this couple was in, when the boyfriend pulled the oldest trick in the book and told her his girlfriend a different start time than was actually the truth. But he made the rookie mistake of letting his lie come to the floor. So he was left to pick up the pieces of his relationship and turned to the internet for a little bit of help. Read on to see what happened.

  • AITA for lying to my gf about the time we're supposed to arrive for an event?

    My gf is really bad at being early or on time for things. This usually causes us to be late for things and we both hate being late, but she always repeats the same things that causes us to be late. Here are the factors that lead to us being late:
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • • She has IBS (This is something that is out of her control but contributes to us being late) • If she is too tired she will insist on getting an hour of sleep in. • She putters around the house watching tv shows on her phone while she tries to do other things.
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • • She insists on breakfast and spends time cooking and eating (she never rushes for this). • She spends a long time trying to figure out what clothes she wants to wear (sometimes she will put on clothes; not like how she looks in them, and then goes to find other clothes to put on). Spends a lot of time putting on makeup.
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • . • Needing to bring extra things like wipes, water and sometimes extra clothes (if we are going to be out for a long time). I've tried speaking to her about this before and I've told her that she needs to focus on getting ready so we don't end up running late. Usually one of two things will happen. She will either get mad at
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • me for getting on her about being late (she will tell me that she actually is trying to hurry and I am not noticing) or she will be sad that she knows we are running late and tells me to go without her. Yesterday we were going to a small event a friend of mine put on. I told
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • my gf we needed to be there for 12pm. As expected, the above mentioned things happened and she kept asking me if I was mad at her because we were running late. I told her it was okay but we really needed to go. As expected she didn't finish getting ready until 12:16pm. She apologized for taking so long and asked me how long it would take us to get there and she
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • asked me if my friends would be mad at the both of us. I told her that it was okay because I lied and the event didn't really start at 12pm and it actually started at 1:30pm. She was livid and she told me that I was such a huge a h le for lying to her and making her rush all that time. I told her that this was good because now we were going to arrive early for something. She told me that this wasn't the point and focused on me lying to her.
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • Now idk if what I did was wrong or not. She spend the whole day speaking to me as little as possible. Edit to add: I appreciate everyone's answers. Just to clear some FAQs here:
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • 1. She doesn't know how to drive so if we can't leave together then she likely will just opt not to come. 2. She doesn't have ADHD or ADD. 3. This is a very frequent problem for the both of us. We've been together for 4 years and I can probably count on my hand the number of things we've been early to.
    via u/mybackishurtingme
  • A woman brushing her teeth in front of a mirror.
    via Unsplash+ (Daiga Ellaby)

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Commenters agreed that this was disrespectful.

    Worth-Season3645 · 2h ago . NTA...Your girlfriend does not value others time. Most of the things can be controlled or worked on except the IBS. She can always have a bag at the ready, pre packed if you are going to be out for a long time. No need to pack day of.
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • Breakfast, she gets up with enough time to make it how she likes to with the time to get ready. Pick out clothes to wear the night before. From now on, you need to give her a time that you be leaving. If she is not ready, that is on her. You will be leaving. And leave.
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • Firm_Cookie_8747 • 2h ago While I think you are NTA, because these always late people mess it all up for the rest of us. I think the better option is to say "We need to leave at 11am." And at 11:15 leave without her EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. If she is p ed you left without her, tell her to start getting ready earlier. That's it.
    via u/Firm_Cookie_8747
  • My chronically late friend fixed herself when we stopped waiting or adjusting our lives for her. She would show up an 1h20m late for dinner and we'd all be done eating and leaving the restaurant (instead of waiting at the bar). She timed herself and realized it took her 2 hrs to get dressed and brush her hair, so she just started
    via u/Firm_Cookie_8747
  • getting ready earlier and now she's actually beaten us to the restaurant. She also realized that was a ridiculous amount of time to get ready for casual brunch and has made other changes as well.
    via u/Firm_Cookie_8747
  • benji950 2h ago • NTA. I am so sick and tired of the complete rudeness and lack of consideration for anyone else with jerks who are incapable of being on time. This is intentional behavior. She wants to eat breakfast, she wakes up earlier and stops dicking around on her phone. Her
    via u/benji950
  • makeup takes a while -- she starts getting dressed earlier. She needs to being extra items -- she prepares them in advance. she will be sad that she knows we are running late and tells me to go without her.
    via u/benji950
  • Such narcissistic bulls . OP, this will be the entirely of your life. She is not going to chance because she really doesn't give a cr p. Good luck to you.
    via u/benji950
  • . Carmen DeeJay · 2h ago My sister used to be married to a j who made her late for everything. We had three Thanksgivings with this guy, and the SHORTEST time he made us wait to eat was 1 hour and 20 minutes. We tried lying and telling him dinner was an hour earlier, but he'd still be late. So, one
    via u/CarmenDeeJay
  • Thanksgiving, we told my sister we were eating sharply at 1:00 p.m. If they weren't there, we'd eat without them. If they didn't get there until all the food was put away, we'd send them home with leftovers. They arrived at 2:28. The table was cleared, the pies
    via u/CarmenDeeJay
  • were put away, the dishes had been washed, and we were all sitting in the living room watching football or sleeping when they walked in. My sister's face flooded with color, and her husband became angry. VERY angry. How dare we invite him for dinner and not feed him?
    via u/CarmenDeeJay
  • We handed her their to-go plates and asked her if they wanted to skip holiday dinners in the future. She started to cry, but he said absolutely. He turned and left, and my sister apologized profusely. Why was he late? His favorite rerun of Hill Street Blues was on. Yes, they divorced a year later. My sister showed up timely for every meal after she dumped him.
    via u/CarmenDeeJay
  • OP needs to tell his girlfriend the true time and leave without her. It sounds to me like people have catered to her for her entire life, and someone NOT doing so might be a wakeup call. GF should have been grateful they were going to arrive timely; instead, she became angry. This makes her a narcissistic j. Hope OP figures out how to leave her.
    via u/CarmenDeeJay
  • Lazuli_Rose • 2h ago NTA. Just tell her the actual time and if she's not ready, go without her. When people ask about why she didn't come, tell them the truth.
    via u/Lazuli_Rose
  • PrettyGreatOldOne 2h ago Rookie mistake: the only thing you did wrong was tell her about it.
    via u/PrettyGreatOldOne
  • Glum_Airline4017 • 2h ago GF is selfish. I don't c are what excuses she has for being late. We all various issues and concerns in our lives. The constant lateness is rade and shows how little she cares about others. NTA but don't want to be an hour late to everything your entire life?
    via u/Glum_Airline4017
  • yeahipostedthat • 2h ago NTA. Perpetually late people. are annoying when you are stuck waiting on them. If she doesn't want to be treated like this then she needs to get her act together.
    via u/yeahipostedthat
  • RealLuxTempo • 2h ago NTA I had a mother who was like this and a former best friend who was like this. The former BF also became livid with me because she caught me lying about when a movie was starting. We always walked into movies late and I hated it. Both my mother and BF were narcissists who must
    via u/RealLuxTempo
  • control all scenarios. I'm not saying your GF is a narcissist, but what I will say is that you probably better just get used to it. It's unlikely that she's going to change.
    via u/RealLuxTempo

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long term relationship relationship advice tardiness aita relationship time IBS relationship status lateness relationship-drama reddit story relationships girlfriend story reddit thread late Reddit healthy relationship dating
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